I often find it helps me to look for a different word in place of a very well-known one, because when I examine my thought processes, I see a tendency when a subject becomes familiar to stop thinking about it! Using a variety of Bible translations can help refresh our thinking, or commentaries which delve into the wider meaning of an original word. It is a most precious skill of a teacher to help us see things with 'new eyes'.
Yesterday, visiting another fellowship to see a friend baptised, I fell into conversation with someone. When I described some of the things my daughter had been doing on the Toronto School of Ministry, and my youngest son on his Holy Spirit adventuring in Estonia, her face clouded, and I was listening to a lady who was racked with fears and anxieties over being deceived. At every turn, she asked me: "But is that in the Bible?" Afterwards, I thought again how we use the word 'saved'. What was so clear to me was that she did not feel safe. Surely, feeling safe is the obvious result of being saved? This is what I mean by trying out a diffferent word. Maybe instead of enquiring of each other whether we are saved, we could ask: 'Are you safe?'
The one I tried this morning was to say 'forgivingness' instead of forgiveness. As I shared previously, I now appreciate far better the life-long process of repentance, conversion and forgiveness, and I also appreciate the witness of scripture to all these long before the coming of Christ. I've never been a great one for theories. I like St James, who exposes people who rely on some kind of abstract 'faith' when there are no signs of it changing them (James 2:14-24). We make 'mustard seed' beginnings, which may even be invisible to our conscious minds (Mark 4:27). But now, I know I am repenting because my mind and intentions are changing; I know I am being converted because God is increasing revelation of His thoughts and feelings; and I know I am being forgiven because I am being led into greater freedom and safety. I don't look back to some moment when I believe I 'got saved'. It's what happens along the Way which counts. "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans" (John Lennon).
This morning, I'm giving myself a rest from atonement theory. My readers will know that I see things quite differently from Piper. God's forgiveness is enough. Of course, our sinful actions carry consequences here on this earth: David and Bathsheba were forgiven but their first child still died. Legal systems manage our social transgressions. But God is not so small and limited that His glory can be injured or His honour offended. Listen to how St Paul describes what God is really like:
"God is patient, God is kind. He does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. He is not rude, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
I've noticed the kind of anxiety you describe about being 'deceived' as well. From a Catholic point of view, this anxiety is inevitable once the protection of the Church's authority is renounced. G K Chesterton has described somewhere an island with a high wall around its perimeter, on which children happily play. Then they notice the wall, and decide it is limiting their freedom, so they tear it down. Then they cease to play so freely, because they are gripped by fear that they might fall off one of the high cliffs at the edge of the island. Before long they are huddled together in the middle of the island, afraid even to go near the edge. G K Chesterton thought that the authority of the Church's teaching is what allows free play within its protective walls.
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